From “Full of Beans”

“Larry King looks like an ancient fossil up close,” I mused to myself as I sat across from him in his palatial news center in Los Angeles, California. “But, hey,” I told myself, “if I look that good when I’m a hundred and six, I’ll be doing great. Good job, Larry.”

Along with two other church members, I was there in July 2008 at the invitation of the Larry King Show to speak on behalf of my people, the FLDS Mormons. Three months previous, the state of Texas had stolen 446 children from the YFZ Ranch near Eldorado, Texas. Four of them were mine. I felt somewhat like a mother grizzly bear, and the scoundrels had messed with my cubs. There was hell to pay, and someone, or rather a lot of someones, needed to be ripped apart.

A full-scale witch hunt enacted illegally without legal search warrants had erupted upon our peaceful community with snipers on the hills, gunmen in full tactile gear, swarms of officers including the Texas Rangers, local, state, and federal law enforcement agencies. Even Fish and Game showed up. The FBI showed up too, but declined to stay, with one officer saying it looked too much like the Waco fiasco. The things that happen as a result of gossip, hearsay, and ignorance, an unholy vendetta, and last but not least, one of the biggest setups in American history by government against its citizens!

Several days before the raid, an African American woman named Rozita from Colorado was paid by witch hunters to make a series of hoax phone calls wherein she posed as an FLDS girl named Sarah, saying she had been forced into marriage at sixteen to an older man and was being abused.  This lie and the myriads that followed from various people with an anti-FLDS agenda resulted in the removal of hundreds of children, a horrific situation which scarred innocent minds for life.

It wasn’t my most natural inclination to behave like a mama grizzly bear or be dwelling upon the fossilized condition of our host, Larry King.  I was trying to stay calm and keep my cool, but I felt terribly betrayed by my own country for perpetrating such a terrible injustice which had brought indescribable heartache upon innocent American citizens.  What had already transpired, and what was yet to transpire was unprecedented in modern day America.

Excerpt from “Full of Beans”

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The Paradox

I was born and raised FLDS Mormon and lived forty-seven years among my people. Married twenty years, raised eight children, had many remarkable experiences, including a terrifying government raid on the YFZ Ranch in 2008 when hundreds of our children were stolen by the state of Texas. In 2012 circumstances caused me to leave my home and community and take on the world, alone. As I lived and worked in mainstream society, wherever I went, people asked strange questions.

Did you escape from that awful religious cult in Southern Utah with the horrible men?

Did your husband beat you and force you to have lots of kids?

Did you escape from Warren Jeffs?

You poor thing! You must be so happy to finally be free.

Huh? Poor me? Free?

When I replied NO, NO, and NO to such questions, I got strange reactions. Silence. Eye rolls. Head shakes. Cold shoulders. Retreating backs. Smiles of pity, and downright angry accusations.

Whaaaat?

Abusive men, stomped on women, illiterate children. Busted bones, broken hearts, darkness and dungeons. Violence, crime, fraud, fear, and deception. Exposure, escape, heroes and heroines.

Seriously?

The moon is made of cheese; the sunset is orange soda. Chocolate with caviar is the best cure for cancer, and a daily Heineken will reverse hair loss. Brett Kavanaugh attacked Christine Ford, and Darth Vader is everybody’s hero. Nancy Pelosi is a pro-life activist, and Donald Trump is actually Santa Clause. The earth is flat, and all men are Christians. The stock market is stable, and my name is Bathsheba.

Somebody is full of beans.

From “Full of Beans”

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