My father had lots of fun ways to teach lessons. One day he put a bowl of candy on his desk. Sure enough pieces of candy began to disappear throughout the next several days. One night he came home for prayer time and brought the bowl of candy with him. He pointed out that several pieces of candy were gone.

“Did I offer anyone a piece of candy?” he asked.

We all looked around the circle shaking our heads. A few notable guilty expressions from various petty thieves were obvious, including my own little fat face.

Father said, “I want to be able to trust my family to not touch things on my desk. If you see something anywhere that isn’t yours, don’t take it without permission. Even if you are all alone in the room, who can see you?”

“Heavenly Father!” we all chorused.

“That’s right,” Father said with a smile. “Let’s have clean hands and pure hearts. Remember, I’m your cute little Dad, and you are my cute little Kiddos. I want to trust you.”

Father replenished the candy bowl and put it back on his desk. By the next weekend, fewer pieces had disappeared when he called for an accounting. It had been a sore temptation for me. Several times I had walked by Father’s empty office. Nobody was looking. How easy it would be to snitch just one little piece. But I couldn’t get past the fact that an unseen Witness saw everything.

We gathered for prayer time once again that weekend, and Father brought the candy bowl. He noted that fewer pieces were gone and pointed out the improvement. Again he voiced the lesson that God sees all we do. Again he said he wanted to trust his family to not touch things that didn’t belong to us.

Father filled the candy bowl and put it back on his desk. Another couple weeks went by of trial, some error, and then an accounting and assessment time. Finally, after about a month, he brought the candy bowl to prayer time completely intact. He was thrilled. The rest of us were too.

Father passed the candy around and admonished us to keep on being the good kids we were.

From WHERE MUCH IS GIVEN

Memoir by Maggie Jessop Jeffs publishing soon

Last week I was trucking near Tucson and saw an IN-N-Out Burger joint. It is particularly dangerous for me to be hungry while driving a semi-truck and come upon In-N-Out. Something about those freshly cooked French fries with the pink pickle sauce has me hitting the brakes and looking for a place to park.

Give me forty acres and I’ll turn this rig around, right? Not sure if they mean my truck or my backside.

In-N-Out totally intrigues me. Their menu is child’s play, only half a dozen items, yet people pour in-n-out of In-N-Out like their lives depend on it. Somebody is making some serious dough. Besides the buns, that is.

Well, my noggin got to coggin’, and I came up with a plan. I think I’ll open a restaurant called Up-N-Down. I’m currently looking for investors. Anyone? Anyone?

We should have more food choices than In-N-Out. I propose we have EVERYTHING on the menu from healthy food to the lowest of the low, maybe grease chips with fake nacho cheese lava. Sound good?

When a chunky cheek chick comes into my restaurant, we will offer weight loss assistance by steering her towards the DOWN side of the restaurant to keep her encouraged with her diet. We will begin with a large glass of water followed by two ounces of beef liver accompanied by three large broccoli florets. She’s gonna love it!

Those on the anorexic side will quickly be shuttled to the UP side of our restaurant since they need to stack on a few lubs so the next summer breeze doesn’t blow them off to Shanghai. For these folks, we will serve all manner of non-food items to encourage weight GAIN. I’m thinking along the lines of pizza, fries, ice cream, donuts, twenty-five choices of cake, and Flam-Nuggers. That’s what my three-year–old son christened a hamburger.

We are going to make a ton of money. Shark Tank, here we come!

If that doesn’t work, I’ll open a new restaurant called Side-to-Side. We will feature only side dishes, absolutely no main dishes allowed. Everyone will lose weight. So awesome!

Wait. How about a diner called Back-and Forth? What say we have a mandatory stipulation that our customers walk backward to enter the restaurant. Then when they go forth, they will always come back. Cool.

One more brainstorm. How about a coffee shop called Ahead-N-Behind. Hmm, that could be misinterpreted. We could have weekly bicycle competitions to work off the daily latte, wot? That makes sense. Some people will be ahead, and some will be behind.

What’s your neat idea for a restaurant?

Now, pipe down, everybody. Don’t get offended by my fat jokes. I don’t have much room to talk. Last May someone nice bought me a fat-laden birthday dessert about the same size as I was. When I saw the pictures, it was the last haystack. No wonder my funny husband used to call me Marge the Large Barge.

Now, four months later, I find myself forty pounds leaner. I can handle the teasing a little better now.

Can I have my cake and eat it too?

YES!

Forty down

Forty to go.

Give me forty acres, and I’ll turn this rig around.

 

 

This is the second publication in a series on Amazon called FLDS Lady.

This book is Part One of three which will complete my personal memoirs.
Still tweaking my book cover. Soon to publish…

This account is from the “opposite side of the mountain”. All stories currently being told about the FLDS are negative, even extremely derogatory. Although my story may be far less sensational and indeed, less popular, it is still my truth. There are plenty of negative perceptions. It seems only fair to have at least one positive perspective. This is a piece of history.

Part Two: Stranger in a Strange Land
Part Three: Traveling the Highroad

Yaaaay! Finally, almost ready to publish my first children’s book.

THE CAT MEOW is the first in a children’s book series called Square Peg Storybooks
Written by Maggie Jessop
Illustrated by Filipa Losada
Published by Highroad North
Coming soon on Amazon!

A story about being yourself.

Way back when I was a kitten, all kinds of personalities lived on our farm. Everybody tried to be somebody else. The mule thought he was John Wayne, and the cow said he was smart as Einstein. The duck imagined he was Crocodile Dundee, and the chickens shrieked the Hallelujah Chorus like a bunch of Joan Sutherlands. The rooster impersonated Johnny English, and the dog recited the Gettysburg address. The goat quoted Shakespeare, and the lamb tried to be Mother Teresa and create world peace. And the horse? He was convinced he was Tony Robbins.
Everybody tried to be somebody by putting on a show and saying fancy things.

Me? I just said, “Meow.”