I never thought I’d see the day when toilet paper would become the new bomb shelter.

Last week my route took me to Rapid City, South Dakota. Lucky me. The day I arrived to unload was the same day five new cases of Corona showed up. I don’t mean the beer kind of Corona cases. I’m talkin’ the virus brand of Corona.

Somebody put out a sign that read,

“Truckers, we WANT your cargo, but we do NOT want you to come within 500 feet of us. Wrap your paperwork in toilet paper and enclose inside three ziplock bags and send by pigeon. The pigeon must FIRST be tested for COVID 19.”

I think they were joking. Not sure.

Later, I drove down the interstate and saw a welcoming sign.

“DRIVERS, DO NOT EXIT YOUR VEHICLES. WE DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE HUNGRY AND NEED THE RESTROOM. DO NOT STOP IN OUR CITY!”

Okay, no problem. But seriously? C’mon, they were joking. I think…maybe.

It isn’t shocking to see a scourge of illness sweeping the earth. Anyone who believes in the Bible expects it to come sooner or later. But after witnessing the alarm that is sweeping the nation, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the economy go down not from COVID 19, but from PANIC.

Fear destroys. Even if the cause of fear is a legitimate concern, fear can spread like the plague and bring down a nation. Hoarding and stockpiling goods is a result of selfishness which originates from fear. Fear causes panic which results in irrational behavior.

Did anyone stop to think that if they horde toilet paper and hand sanitizer causing others to go without, it increases the risk for everyone, including themselves? If we want to keep ourselves safe from contamination, maybe we should make sure our neighbors have what they need as well as ourselves.

Did anyone stop to think that fear produces more fear? Negativity attracts negativity. Fear compromises not only your brain power, but also your physical immune system. Those who succumb to fear will likely catch the virus.

I suspect that the biggest threat of Coronivirus is an infection of the mind more than the body.

Of course it’s true that many have contracted the disease, but are you sure we can trust the media to report the truth? I imagine it’s true that many have died, but probably no more deaths than a bad flu. I absolutely agree we should protect ourselves as much as possible. Without a doubt, we should stock up on food and water and medical supplies…and toilet paper. If only we could find toilet paper.

The thing is…we should already have those things stored up. The most important thing we should have stored up is faith-faith in God, faith in ourselves, and faith in each other.

I’m really thankful for the warning this newest plague has brought. Hopefully, things will eventually settle down and regular trade will resume. Hopefully, we will remember the warning and then take calm and rational steps in the future to be better prepared for the next pandemic. Hopefully, we won’t only be crisis sheeple-those who humble themselves and prepare only when their lives are threatened.

On a lighter note, they say the virus won’t last long because it was made in China.

Not funny. Not funny. Straight face.

I got so weary of the TP aisle SOLD OUT in stores recently, and since I do NOT believe in panic, I made a calm and rational decision.

ORDER A CONTAINER LOAD OF TP IMMEDIATELY!

I can even pick it up myself from the port because I have a CDL and a TWIT card.

Good news! I plan to share.

I think I’ll go for bamboo toilet paper instead of wiping out more trees. I love trees. When I build my little 100 acre homestead so I can quarantine myself to survive the virus, I will plant a thousand trees. No toilet paper from trees. I guess that makes me a tree hugger.

I think I’ll call my new toilet paper business PLANET WORTH. Nice!

Slogan…we need a slogan. How about…

“BEND THE KNEES AND SPARE THE TREES”

What do you think? Neat, huh. I am currently accepting investors as long as you wear a mask and rubber gloves while enclosing your money inside three ziplock bags and send by pigeon. Tested pigeon.

I confess. The trouble with me is you never know when I’m serious or not. A certain amount of humor in a crisis seems important, but I am actually quite serious about my new company name and slogan. I never joke about faith or bending the knee. I like my new brainstorm of investing in a truck load of toilet paper. Good business logic.

Let’s keep surviving by smiling and washing hands and not breathing and helping others get what they need. I don’t suppose it will hurt anyone to avoid social gatherings for awhile. Above all, let’s get the faith and hope mentality.

Got TP? It’s coming…

You may be interested to know that my Mother Load of TP will arrive in approximately six months. The toilet paper factories in China are closed because the staff is out sick. If by then, you are still kickin’ and still need that all-important commodity which seems to outrank food and water, call me.

1-800-TPME.

For now, I think I’ll avoid the panic and do some on-line trucking.

But hey, let’s take this serious. It’s no laughing matter.

REMAIN CALM.

 

Ease up on the CORONA

…and SMILE!

Help is on the way.